Accidents and Inspiration Lead You to Your Destination

Reading over 40 Part B & C mid semester self-assessments occupied most of my time these past few weeks. My mind was swimming in blogs, observations, op-eds, and student assessments of the first half of the semester.  Overall, the quality of work, the amount of effort invested in completing the Part B & C, and the thoughtfulness conveyed by students was impressive. There were times I simply had to pause and allow myself to absorb what I read before beginning another review. One of my favorite aspects of reviewing the entire body of a student’s work is reading their observations. There is a poignancy in these few sentences students thread together that capture the enormity of a moment and remind us what is often overlooked, or considered ordinary, can be both compelling and revealing about the world we live in. From these few descriptive sentences I feel myself there, hearing the voices, seeing the faces, experiencing the hurt, heartbreak and joy. It is quite amazing how you can say so much with so few words.

For the first time in many months I woke up without the reviews calling me, and spent the morning reading papers and watching TV without guilt. I decided not to go to Home Depot or do anything related to my house. On a whim I dashed off to the Portland Art Museum to see a film I had missed when it was released this summer with all the chaos in my life. It felt like a guilty pleasure, and I had a grin plastered across my face as I drove downtown. The movie was delightful, (In A World with Lake Bell who wrote, directed and starred in it) and after the film I lingered in the gift shop. The first book I saw was Candy Chang’s “When I Die”. I guess no getting away from class! The book shows the cities worldwide where the project was done, and what people wrote. It made me smile and I thought about all the wonderful programs we saw via TED talks, the links and videos you all shared in your blogs, my memories of working in Mart, and the projects you have begun this semester. And I thought about your observations and how sometimes while reading them they gripped my heart. I thought about Pam Dorr coming tomorrow and her work in Greensboro, AL, which has revitalized a town yet how humble she is - availing herself every time I call on her, even if it is just one person she writes an extensive email reply to their questions. I thought about my lawyer daughter who works in non profit management on behalf of homeless people and my son who works two jobs, yet attended a training yesterday in Oakland to be a mentor to a foster youth, because as he said in a text to me, “ I need to make a difference in someone’s life”.

We often hold our breath for the next crescendo or big act. I read my former student’s Facebook posts who are in grad school now, trying to usher each semester by as fast as possible so they can have that next big moment, which in this case is graduation. “It’s almost over” they keep telling each other, and while I was tempted to post “Are you in the moment enjoying the learning?” I wisely refrained. I recalled my desperation to finish my PhD in record time – I was battle weary, broke, and worried about my future. Life and our reality often dictate our ability to submerge ourselves in the luxury of being in the moment fully. From reading your LRs, I know you have multiple responsibilities as I did; however, I was incredibly moved by how despite all the moving parts, you are learning, making good use of your time at USM, and articulating and applying it in a meaningful way. Your blogs alone exemplify how you as students are generators of knowledge – not passive recipients or empty vessels to be filled by the all-knowing instructor, which I am certainly not. You are an inspiration to your families, friends, each other, and me.

While driving the other day I pulled out my CD case, it had been in my POD for months. I played an old CD by Mary Chapin Carpenter and one of my favorite tracks has a lyric that aptly describes my path in life, “Accidents and inspiration lead you to your destination”. I am a planner – I make plans; however, things do not always fall in line, in fact they often do not. What I have found is there is magic in derailment, and leaving room for the unknown takes us places we would never have gone, meet people we would have never met, and seized opportunities we never thought possible. I never imagined I would get my PhD though I always wanted to and believed I was meant to teach, do research, and work innovatively in communities. It was a series of things that didn’t really pan out that allowed me to take a vision in my head that later became the Mart Community Project and pursue my doctorate at age fifty-two. Sometimes what we don’t know is more important than what we do know, and allowing ourselves to be uncomfortable for a time is what leads us to soar to new heights and our better selves. It can get messy, and feel like we are swimming in a sea of wicked problems (or are a wicked problem); however, I do believe our ability to experience transformation, and facilitate transformation for others, is a result of venturing into the great unknown. I want to commend you for your work thus far this semester and staying in the process with me, even when it seemed so foreign and confusing. You all remind me of why I am so passionate about teaching and using the Learning Record, and how learning is really a partnership and a life long process. Keep up the great work!

One Size Fits All Doesn't Work

We are all unique and different. No one person is exactly the same. This is common sense and scientific wisdom, yet if so, why are we shoved into categories, demographics, and treated like one approach works for everyone, and perhaps more disturbing is the notion that there is "one right approach". I suppose that is why I am attracted to Wicked Problem theory. In education there are ongoing debates about how students learn, best practice, and the value of technology. As you can imagine, there is no one answer, and no one definition of the problem. This morning I came across two very distinct approaches in education, one terrified me and the other inspired me.

On the cover page of the NY Times was an article about CourseSmart, textbook software that allows instructors to track if their students are reading the textbook. 

 http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/09/technology/coursesmart-e-textbooks-track-students-progress-for-teachers.html?pagewanted=2&ref=todayspaper

My mouth hung open as I read the article. It felt like spying and beyond the boundaries of an instructor's responsibility or right. It runs contrary to my belief that ultimately the student should be driven by a love of learning, curiosity, and relevance to their world. Believe me, I know what I am up against pedagogically, and I am not wearing rose colored glasses. However, I have seen the light go on time and time again when students move from performance to learning, and it is nothing short of magnificent. As I said in in a recent blog post, you all inspire me with your courage and willingness to make a leap of faith. I have listened to countless stories of good intentions gone bad over the years. I watched student after student loose their passion and love of learning after spending days on end memorizing and regurgitating. It is soul robbing and deadening.

This digital textbook approach where instructors have the skinny on what their students are reading and when and how much takes things to a new level. Proponents of CourseSmart see the value of being a "Big Bother" and instructors monitoring textbook reading. As Tracy Hurley, Dean of the Business School said, “It’s Big Brother, sort of, but with a good intent.” Is that so? Let's be clear, acording to the NY Times article, "CourseSmart is owned by Pearson, McGraw-Hill and other major publishers, which see an opportunity to cement their dominance in digital textbooks by offering administrators and faculty a constant stream of data about how students are doing. More than 3.5 million students and educators use CourseSmart textbooks and are already generating reams of data about Chapter 3. Among the colleges experimenting this semester are Clemson, Central Carolina Technical College and Stony Brook University, as well as Texas A&M-San Antonio, a new offshoot". That is a lot of data folks, and the possibilities of it going South, or just not working, or students finding ways to outsmart the system are already being discussed (read the article and find out, then the comments posted). Either way, there is profit involved for the dominant textbook companies and more and more marketing underway to convince us this is the "new" Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread". Money will be made. Tons of studies will be conducted using large data sets. Time will pass and the verdict will still be out. Meanwhile those of us in classroom (student and teacher) will be hard at work to learn, grow, and develop according to who we are, where we come from, and a set of characteristics and learning style that is unique to just us.

On a more inspirational note, John Bielenberg posted this video on his Facebook page. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bSu_Snlbsw&feature=youtu.be 

This, folks, is teaching. Engaging students, invoking humor, learning by doing, authentically caring about each and every student, mentoring and the sharing of ourselves. As one student wrote in the comments, "He taught me Physics in 1994 at Trinity High School and was exactly the same back then. He was the BEST teacher I ever had!" I am sure we can all think back to that special teacher, mentor or person who made the difference in our lives and learning. I had a 7th grade English teacher who read Jane Eyre aloud to us. I can close my eyes and hear the click-click-click of his heels as he paced around the room with book in hand. He wore a tweed or hounds tooth sports jacket every day. I recall how during class a student came in to deliver a message and some of my classmates snickered and made fun of her, causing some, not all of the class to laugh. He admonished the students who both made the remarks and joined in the fun. I will never forget his refusal to allow cruelty, and how he infected me with a love of literature and learning. I cannot remember his name but I will never forget him. Jeffery Wright is one such amazing and unforgettable teacher. No amount of surveillance will accomplish what he has managed as an educator and overall wonderful human being.

I am looking forward to your project presentations and how they speak to your unique learning process, passions, and growth. Have fun, be creative, and be sure to try something new!

Does art change people or do people change art?

No matter how many times I watch Wasteland, it never fails to move and inspire me. It makes me want to run out and cause a commotion - do an art installation on the street and see who accepts my invitation to make art. What might happen? There are some controversial pieces I have been wanting to embark on but lack the time and courage at the moment. When I think of all I might stir up in some of these projects, I have to ask myself if it will achieve my aims, and if it will be worth it for everyone involved. Artists too have to shoulder a sense of responsibility about their work. I suppose that is where the collaboration piece comes in. We can share our ideas with others - the subjects, recipients, and those who might benefit or be slighted in a deep personal way. And then we have a choice to make. As we have discussed all semester, we make decisions and take action with the best of intention; however, we never really know what will result.

I am not suggesting that offending folks is always a bad thing, it can be the spark that is needed to usher reluctant change along. And takes us out of our comfort zone. I do believe we struggle with the balance between the caution and risk; however, the inner discourse is valuable and necessary. Vik and his team had those important conversations about the consequence of bringing the pickers to the studio and taking them to London, and in the end I sided with Vik, it was worth it. Perhaps more important though, for Vik's development was how the experience changed him. I am not sure he bargained for that. We often think that since we have more money, education, and material possessions, we are in the position to change people who have less for the better. All semester we have been talking about reciprocal relationships with communities, a key principle of service learning. And also been about measuring and how the expectation to do so can blind us to the magic of our work and what others bring to the table. When we open ourselves up, and embrace the unknown potential of our work, our growth, and our ability to charter new territory without a fixed expectation we can begin to realize what transformation really means - to ourselves and others. That is my hope for you in this class - through doing the Learning Record for the first time, blogging, working together or solo on projects, meeting new peers and community members, and being willing to make a misstep or two along the way.

I am very excited for your presentations on the 22nd. Remember, this is not show and tell. I want to hear about your passion for your topic and why you chose to invest yourself in your project, why you feel it is important to the world, what you did and learned along the way, and how you plan to continue your work in this particular project or elsewhere as you move forward. Also, how what we studied, read, discussed, and saw in the work of others contributed to your growth, development and work in your project. Share your obstacles and how you learned from them, and what you learned from others. Be creative in your presentation, use multimedia or anything else that helps you articulate your experience. Don't be afraid to take a chance - surprise us!

I leave you with some images of community art practice in Mart and a fantastic article about art and social change. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/24/arts/design/outside-the-citadel-social-practice-art-is-intended-to-nurture.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&ref=todayspaper&adxnnlx=1364155203-YhWr0K7jwL5jeYzVREYEPQ&

On our way to Ithaka

I have been walking around for days now with words continually swelling up inside me. To be candid, a few tears as well. As I move frenetically to complete my dissertation, land a job, teach, and attend to my personal life, I often find myself overcome by things big and small. The finish line is within reach. And while that is assuring, it is also terrifying. What is next? As of 8:11 Saturday morning I have no idea. I feel absolute panic at times, and worry about my future. I travel across the country for campus interviews and try to picture myself happily living there with my three Golden Retrievers. For some reason, I measure everything against my house in Austin (which I love) and the known quantity of my life here or in the Bay Area. Moving to Austin was a gamble, I threw in all my chips and made a huge leap of faith; however, starting a PhD program with a cohort is vastly different than starting a job on your own. I am well aware that the fatigue factor heavily influences my emotional and cognitive state; however, that does not stop the surge of doubt that seems to grip me in my more vulnerable moments (which are far too many in my opinion). This "next great adventure" thing does not have me jumping up and down for joy, rather  a perpetual state of uncertainty, which is a bit daunting to say the least.

In an attempt to balance my universe, I seek strength and inspiration outside of myself. And as you may imagine, there is no short supply of it. When I spoke in class about the "magic of derailment" I shared the stories of people I met while traveling standby. As I moved from gate to gate, teetering on distraught and succumbing to tears, I was saved by the kindness of others, and perhaps more important, moved and inspired by their stories. Last week our guest speaker at the Community Engagement forum, Scott Peters, an oral historian by trade, spoke of the importance of stories and story lines in community-university partnerships. He shared stories of faculty who had dedicated their career in the academy to engaged scholarship and teaching. I think I speak for all who attended that we were collectively inspired by these people who we had never met, yet felt akin to as we seek ways to improve our engagement with communities, our students, and our colleagues to make the world a better place. I thought about all the people I have met, both brief and long lasting and how they have inspired me to try harder, do more, and extend myself to others - even when it feels like there is nothing left to give.

In the spirit of inspirational characters, two people close to me come to mind this morning. My husband just turned 75 years old last month. With confidence, I can say he is the smartest, most intellectual person I know - and I come across a lot of smart folks. He grew up in the segregated South with no one ever telling him he could or should go to college.  He worked full time with a family and thanks to the GI Bill, attended San Francisco City College and then San Francisco State University where he earned his Bachelor's degree in Business. If anyone should be a professor in the family, it is him. He worked 30 years for SF Municipal railway and retired with an excellent package. While these should be the years he indulges himself, his first priority is taking care of his family and making sure he is the safety net they can lean into when times get tough. He is our rock, and shows no sign of bitterness or regret, rather his satisfaction comes from being able to hold everyone together. He is understated, and often surprises people with his intellect but those of us who know him sit back and smile for we have been graced by his brilliance for years. Simply put - he is my hero.

Back in the day as a Cable Car Gripman for SF MUNI

The other person I am thinking of is my son. My quieter child who does not seem to see how amazing he is to the world. As a black male in this society he has encountered racism since he was a young boy. It is hard to describe the dagger in my heart when he came home from school in first grade crying after a classmate told him all black men grow up and go to jail, or when he said at 21 years old at a cafe in Accra, Ghana that he never felt like he could be the smartest kid in the class. He graduated from San Francisco State (like his dad) yet never engaged in school, and in many ways felt it was a waste of his time (another dagger to my heart). These days my son is working for an airline (hence the standby travel) and trying to get an online vintage business off the ground. He is determined to make his own way without interference and financial support. He gets paid little but works doubles and triples to pay his rent, his car note and other bills. He cares for others and keeps a low profile. He is sensitive and compassionate, and like his dad, amazingly brilliant in an understated way. We do not talk everyday; however, he always calls or texts me at the moment I need him the most - "Love you mom, keep working hard, you are almost there". Last night he called to see how my campus visit went and ended up giving me a much needed pep talk. He reminded me I was not getting a PhD to impress those who for whatever reasons may never value my work, and if I ever doubted myself in this process all I had to do was look around at the lives I had touched though my community work, teaching, and as a friend and mother. As I listened to his wisdom, concern and love, I felt so much pride and inspiration from this 27 year old man who works for low wages while enduring crap from customers and supervisors, not to mention the presence and composure required of him to maintain his dignity while being a perceived threat to the world because of his blackness. You give me strength I told him, and of course in true Jonathan fashion, he replied, "You and dad give me strength mom".

My son with Cornell West at SFO

Another source of inspiration I want to mention is all of you, my students. As I read your blogs this morning I marveled at how you are growing and developing by sharing yourselves and your stories. Your stories are powerful and they inspire me and others who read them. While we may feel alone, stories remind us we are traveling this journey together. Many years ago when I began my annual sojourns to the small Greek Island of Folegandros, a new but now old friend listened to me talk one night about my divided life as a mother, artist and career woman trying to maintain my day job. He handed be a book of poems by the Greek poet Kavafy and said quite sternly, "You need to read Ithaka". The poem speaks to the value of the journey - not the destination - and reminds us to appreciate the "magic of derailment" and the unexpected sources of inspiration that sustain us. I leave you with this poem and thank you for being part of my journey to Ithaka. 


As you set out for Ithaka
hope the voyage is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
angry Poseidon—don’t be afraid of them:
you’ll never find things like that on your way
as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
wild Poseidon—you won’t encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope the voyage is a long one.
May there be many a summer morning when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you come into harbors seen for the first time;
may you stop at Phoenician trading stations
to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
sensual perfume of every kind—
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
and may you visit many Egyptian cities
to gather stores of knowledge from their scholars.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you are destined for.
But do not hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you are old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you would not have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you will have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.

Making the Grade

I have been thinking about grades this week - of course I am as you send me your Part C grade estimate and evaluation.  Additionally, I am consumed with writing my dissertation everyday trying to cross the finish line for my PhD and land a job. As I run myself into the ground, continue to apply for jobs and wait to hear about others, I often pause to think about the past four years of my life in pursuit of this degree - the ultimate prize. In my more difficult moments I ask myself what possessed me to do this and has it in anyway been worth the cost. To attempt to answer these questions I have to decide what "measuring stick" to use. My GPA? Dissertation award? Student loan debt totals? Job offers? Number of articles published? Teaching evaluations? Family occasions missed? Praise and recognition or lack thereof? I suppose the best I answer I can give right now is it depends on the time of day because everything is in flux and my perspective feels warped by the urgency of now. To truly give these questions their due, I would have to pause and be present, and allow myself time to revisit a series of moments filled with magic and pain, wonder and disillusionment, and satisfaction and disappointment. Perhaps there is no one answer, at least not now; however, there is some degree of faith (insanity?) that has kept me in the process.

Which brings me back to the topic of grades and your mid semester evaluations. I have been impressed thus far with your self reflection and honesty, and your ability to step out of the box and employ non-traditional "measuring sticks". You have begun to think not so much about your performance, rather what you are investing and learning in the process. You are thinking about your growth and development, and future goals. I appreciate your willingness to begin to take risks and stumble, try new things and embrace (maybe a strong word) the messiness and non linear nature of community work. Learning is a magical experience; however, it can be squashed by the expectation of perfection and mistake free products. Knowledge is not always quantifiable. It is infinite. If we allow ourselves, we are in a constant state of learning - from books, media, relationships, scribes, TV, maps, community work, children, professors, peers, nature, art, catastrophe, success, and the list goes on. I am hoping this class and pedagogy help facilitate your knowledge and development in a variety of areas, hence the six dimensions of learning as a guide and framework for you to identify your growth and room for improvement. Of course you want a good grade; however, I hope by the end of the semester you see beyond the grade and find satisfaction in what you have learned about best practices for community engagement, related theory, the history and contemporary state of service learning, and of course yourselves and how to apply this and other knowledge you gain to your future endeavors.

I am including a few videos for you to watch - feel free to blog about them and we can discuss in class. The first two are TED talks by Shimon Schocken, a computer science professor:
http://www.ted.com/talks/shimon_schocken_the_self_organizing_computer_course.html  and http://www.ted.com/talks/shimon_schocken_s_rides_of_hope.html

The third is a You Tube video about the flawed grading system of schools: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsoY7W1nuDQ  

Have a wonderful and restful Spring Break and look forward to seeing you on Monday the 18th!

Reflection on a day of service: Project 2013

I was fortunate to spend some hours in the Dove Springs neighborhood of Austin last Saturday. As the professor of a service learning class that includes many students who have worked tirelessly over the past year to make this day a reality, I was proud to see my students in action - many tackling first time experiences like tweeting, editing photos, supervising and coordinating to name a few daunting tasks. It was a huge success for the students, community and university staff that poured so much of themselves into this community-university partnership.

In class we are discussing the larger context of service learning, community-university partnerships, reflection, and higher education's civic mission. Students are continuing their service beyond Project in a variety of ways - all of their choosing and design. We have a group oral history project at the request of the Project 2014 neighborhood in Holly Street area of Austin, which is the start of relationship building with that community. Other students are pursuing their passions through existing organizations they are members of and others are paving the way for next year's Project and applying lessons learned. At the end of the semester, they will present the projects and what they learned. Our focus is on the relational aspect of doing community work and building capacity over time. Community work is not a straight line, not much in life really is; however, we often judge ourselves and our work by a "perfect, predetermined outcome". I am hoping students find the magic in unexpected places, allow themselves to be surprised and redefine what success really means. There is so much we cannot possibly know at the onset of a project, and rather than find that terrifying, I am challenging you to open yourself to the possibility of the unknown.

http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html
While driving home from Dove Springs I Saturday, I listed to an interview with Sir Ken Robertson on NPR.  As soon as I got home I listened to his entire TED Talk. I thought about how creativity is choked in education and often forsaken for "practicality" or worse, a mistake free expectation in learning. My biggest breakthroughs were a result of discomfort, missteps, and unexpected roadblocks. I see my role as a teacher to help students navigate the obstacles, not to prevent them. In our quest to learn and build knowledge, and inspire positive change, mistakes are unavoidable, therefore a system that penalizes them is blocking a necessary ingredient to innovate and expand horizons. When we debriefed about Project, we started down that predictable road of identifying where things fell short. Do not get me wrong, feedback leads to improvement; however, turning our attention to what opportunities present themselves when things go off course is also important. What opportunities are we missing for our growth and development and the good of the community? There is no one right way, or one right answer; however, there are countless possibilities to seize if you are flexible and open. Efficiency can always be improved on, and a worthy endeavor that is; however, I caution you not to overlook the magic that is right in front of you.

One encounter, one day, one moment can lead to a lifetime connection and become a tipping point for you or some you touch. Be bold, visionary and passionate, and fly in the face of adversity. Let your mistakes be your teacher and dust yourself and your pride off when you stumble. I am proud of each and every one of you for your dedication and commitment to the UT Austin motto: "What starts here changes the world" and I look forward to the rest of the semester and helping to facilitate your growth and development - and of course learning along with you!

The Power of Art to Uphold Community

While reading the New York Times today I came across this article about the Ghanaian artist El Anatsui.

-->http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/10/arts/design/a-million-pieces-of-home-el-anatsui-at-brooklyn-museum.html?pagewanted=all

I saw this exhibit when it was at the Blanton and was impressed - and as an artist it is not easy to impress me. What I love about his work is that he held his home and community close to his heart in creating works of art and was not seduced to the riches and abandon his culture or identity. For me art has the ability to articulate the complex realities we experience as we navigate our way in the world. It is my language and in many ways my rapture. But art is not limited to the self proclaimed artists of the world, it is for everyone - to enjoy, participate in, to rejoice in, and be moved by. When we create we are all artists, and by create I mean any endeavor, including creating community. You are all artists in community building and I hope you will experience the magic of possibility as you practice your art in Dove Springs and beyond. Hence, another worthy article sent to me today by a friend:

http://dailyserving.com/2013/01/social-practice-skills/

I will conclude with a few pieces of my own art inspired by my engagement with community. See you tomorrow!